Ultimate burn


the ultimate burn is a highly offensive insult used by one person against another. every person has at least one ultimate burn. it concerns whatever it is that that person feels most embar-ssed about, and therefore would feel the most pain by having brought up in front of others or in an insulting manner. in order for an ultimate burn to be verified, one of the following conditions must be met:

1. someone who witnessed the ultimate burn must say aloud, “oh, sh-t!”
2. everyone who was within the vicinity of the ultimate burn must cringe and utter “ooooh” under his or her breath.
3. someone who witnessed the burn must call the person who delivered the ultimate burn an -sshole, d-ck, douche, or other deragatory name.
4. the person who the ultimate burn is directed towards must tear up, or break out into an all out sobfest.

once an ultimate burn has been verified, the person who committed the ultimate burn must acknowledge it by saying “ultimate burn,” then apologizing and shaking hands with the victim of the ultimate burn.
“oh sh-t, that was an ultimate burn.”
“oooh ultimate burn. d-mn mitch i apologize.”
when a dude lets a silent hot fart slip out that he thinks won’t stink and it fills up half a building with sh-t smell.
bob: that was embarr-ssing, joe balzano just had the ultimate burn and now the library has to be evacuated.

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Disclaimer: Ultimate burn definition / meaning should not be considered complete, up to date, and is not intended to be used in place of a visit, consultation, or advice of a legal, medical, or any other professional. All content on this website is for informational purposes only.