Search

unix x (often called egx) is a server on the kaillera network, specializing in games of super smash brothers 64. this game is played using an emulator for the nintendo 64 platform that is compatible with kaillera (common clients include project64k and less often, mupen64k, where the k stands for kaillera. basically, 1 user “hosts” their game (or rom image, in this case), and waits for other players to join his or her room. while other games and systems can and are hosted, super smash bros 64 is overwhelmingly popular here.

the server interface (which is arguably the same with every other server on kaillera despite a few nuances) consists of a main chat column, a user list that displays who’s playing a game and who’s idle, and a room list (made up of any games, chats, and “away” rooms that are currently hosted) the individual rooms also have private chat columns.

the community is made up of bots, admins, and users with nonstatic usernames who are identified only by their ip address. this method of identification can only be described as clumsy and insecure, as anyone can impersonate any other person, with a few exceptions.

the bots
the bots are, presumably, intended to enforce server rules while there are either no present admins or no present admins who feel like doing their job. they are often programmed to react to some sort of spam, and each bot has its own list of words that trigger “muting”. the problem with these filters is that often times an otherwise well intentioned person will be muted, while more experienced trolls know how to avoid punishment. not only are these word filters lopsided and biased (since you cannot use some racial slurs, but can use others that are just as prevalent and demeaning), but ‘muting’, ‘booting’, or sometimes even ‘banning’ a user is not even an effective punishment. as stated earlier, users are identified by their ip address, which can be changed quite easily in many cases.

the admins
admins are hardly ever effective or appreciated on the internets as it is – not much needs to be explained here. in a nutsh-ll, unit x admins aren’t there when you need them, and are there when you don’t. even when they’re logged on to the server, they are usually either away from the keyboard (see afk) or not giving a sh-t. a few users have “superadmin” access, which gives them the ability to do any conceivable action on the server, including permanently banning an ip address, granting admin powers to regular users, eavesdropping on private games and conversations inside host rooms, and ignoring the rules they are supposed to be enforcing. although traditional admins are, in theory, neutral moderators who settle issues, admins at unit x often join or exacerbate arguments and can even be found flaming regular users.

types of users in the chatroom;

trolls; these ?beings? are best known for being completely impossible to win an argument with. no matter how much sense your argument makes, they will always take it to a newer low, such as insulting your mom, or telling you to go —- yourself. trolls completely ignore logic and facts, and just try to draw out people into flame wars and upset them.

12 year olds; these are children who somehow have access to a computer and will often type in all caps kind of liek this!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!1 omg wtf. also, they are notorious for spamming such things as p-n-s p-n-s p-n-s over and over again, probably to compensate for their lack of one.

leavers; people who join a game, and then drop out at some point within the game; see “noobs” as well for more clarification.

noobs; players who usually pick the character kirby, get completely owned within 10 seconds, and then usually leave the game whining. or in general, anyone who just plain sucks and doesn’t know what the h-ll they are doing.

egomaniacs; (sometimes have skill, sometimes just ego, could be both); these people have a huge ego, and boast often of how great they are; they absolutely cannot stand losing. if they lose, they will drop out of the game, or lie about their loss, to make themselves feel better about their various insecurities.

there is no way to silence such people, sadly.

-sskissers; people who literally kiss the -ss of professional super smash brothers players; worshipping their playstyle and moves, and taking sides in any argument with that person simply because they are good at the game.

sheep; a broad category of people who tend to “follow the crowd’ or just follow the judgment of certain people who get a lot of -ss kissing. these people have displayed remarkably little capacity to think on their own and formulate independent thoughts; scientists are still trying to figure out if their intelligence level even comes close to that of dinosaurs.

non-language speakers; these are people who either don’t apparently speak english, or any other recognized language. if you attempt to speak to them in their own language, they will not understand you either. usually this is to avoid getting kicked from a game; see party crashers.

party crashers; people who crash an already full game and refuse to leave, making it awkward for the host of the game if he or she isn’t trigger happy with the kick player b-tton. sometimes, party crashers pretend to be non-language speakers to further their insidious goals.

laggers; people who are watching too much p-rn while playing, or live in djibouti. these people have so much delay in the game that it is impossible to hardly move. generally, laggers are the only type of player who will actually stay in the game; sadly, they are one of the few types of people you don’t want in the game.

kids on add; these types of players usually enter the game with the wrong connection type or the wrong emulator, which prevents the game from being started. to add insult to injury, they are incredibly annoying and usually will spam things like “gogogogogogogogooooooooooo” about 10 billion times, until silenced or booted. they have the intelligence of an average sheep, if not less.

imposters; these people take delight in -ssuming the ident-ty of others, cause apparently they aren’t important enough to warrant any attention. often times, imposters are just simply attention wh-r-s. sometimes these people do research on their target person to seem more convincing. it usually becomes obvious once you play them and they suck pretty bad, that they are not in fact the top lever player that they are claiming to be.

hackers/flooders; people who exist solely to evade bans, spam the server full of useless text that slows it down, or try to exploit it in such a way to gain unathorized access. these users generally switch ip addresses, and thus are almost impossible to ever get rid of. the nightmares of admins everywhere.

attention wh-r-s; the lindsey lohans of super smash brothers. these players feel the need to inform the general public every time they have won a match, or when anything happens at all; they can’t resist a chance to show off and get into the limelight. often times they act as challengers to anyone in the server, claiming they cannot be beaten, when in fact the opposite is true.

types of playstyles;

team killers; these people will attack their own teammates and kill them, sowing seeds of dissent, frustration, and anger, in general turning a 2v2 into a free for all with m-ss chaos and pandemonium.

edgeguard wh-r-s; these types of players will simply sit near the ledge of a stage, grabbing it to keep another player from returning, or jump far out to try and spike them. usually recognized by completely obsessive and fanatical willingness to do anything to get a kill off the edge, even if it ends in their own demise. these people prefer to fight every battle on the edge, where they try to get quick and cheap kills.

opportunists; these are some of the most incredibly irritating people to face in a game, especially one involving more than 2 people. say for example a free for all or 2v2 team battle is taking place. the typical opportunist will wait until an opponent is busy engaging the opportunists teammate, then jump in with a devastating falcon paunch or donkey punch. another type of opportunist is the kind who enjoys 2v2s too much; they will wait until one team member knocks an opponent near them, and then use the stunned opportunity to hit the opponent yet again. see link character.

spammers; these types of people believe in one thing, and one thing only; repet-tion. they believe that they will do “whatever it takes” to win, yet somehow this translates into using 1 move over and over again, even if it is proven to be ineffective.

johnners; people who will “john” (make up excuses for their performance in games). if its not bad enough to “john” after losing a game, as to why they lost, some people feel the need to insult or john about why their win wasn’t even as legitimate as it should have been; this may include rubbing it in the opponents face.

people with something to prove; it’s not enough that smash brothers is a game; to these people it is serious business, and you’d better take it seriously or they will get angry and refuse to play you. these people are often found challenging others to a 1v1, in the hopes that they will be recognized as the superior player, whereas the other user just wants to play for fun and tells them to —- off.
someone with a ridiculous amount of lag (determined by the server in the form of “ping”) joins an already full unit x game with the wrong connection type, then demands that the host “start” – despite this being an impossibility. after being kicked from the room for delaying the game’s start, they type misspelled obscenities while holding down the shift key in the main chat, only to be muted and kicked from the server by a bot. the offender returns 3 minutes later.