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university of central florida

the single best school in the entire world. without a lick of history prior to its founding in 1963, it’s already the single biggest school in the country for undergraduates (and third for total undergrad and grad students). located in orlando, florida, the university of central florida (ucf) offers its students an incredible variety of opportunities academically, socially, professionally, and visually. its girls are world-renowned for their beauty, brains, and cl-ss, and its men are of such cl-ss and excellence that they are the only men worth these ladies’ time and affection.

if accepted, it is a life-defining, catastrophically stupid mistake to not attend this university. if you are a prospective student, however, you may fear that you won’t fit in with such excellent people. however, just getting accepted to ucf typically means that you have a high degree of skill, attractiveness, and luck. accepting the offer of enrollment proves this.

the university of central florida is, again, the best school in the world. period.
i received a first-cl-ss education in awesomeness at the university of central florida. my major was mechanical engineering.

normally, when people are confronted with a woman of exceptional beauty, they become scared and nervous. ucf grads are well-versed in how to deal with such women.

ucf has a chocolate club. seriously, what other information do you need?
considered to be the second largest commuter school in florida, next to disney world, ucf provides students of all ages (especially those aged 40+ who never got the chance to go to college) an opportunity to attend and print out a copy of a bachelor’s degree from their library.

ucf is a model school when it comes to a lack of school spirit. when asked, 50% claimed their mascot to be mickey mouse, 40% said it was a horse, and 10% said they didn’t know what a mascot was.

understanding that many of their students commute from either disney world or their parent’s house, ucf has made great strides in ensuring that freshman still receive some form of the “college experience” by promoting and encouraging the “freshman 15,” which remains spearheaded by the greek life, mainly the sororities.

originally, university of central florida’s (ucf) intended purpose was to educate students in preparation for employment at disney world as janitors, but an increase of recent standards by disney have made it impossible for ucf graduates to work there. in order to accommodate for this, ucf has begun shuffling new graduates into fast food franchises, with the exception of chickfila.

while still an accredited school, its status as a university remains questionable. when those responsible for accrediting schools was asked “why,” they responded with, “we thought it would be funny.”
son: “hey dad, i only got into two schools. mcdonald’s and university of central florida. which one should i go to?”

father: “ok, son, for one, mcdonald’s isn’t a school… but if you’re asking me which option will give you more of a future, go to mcdonald’s.”

person#1: “so did you get into any colleges?”
person#2: “ucf”
person#1: “…so no?”
person#2: “yeah…”
person#1: “i’m really sorry”