University of Utah
utah’s first inst-tute of higher learning. utahns that choose the u of u over lesser schools in the state tend to display the ability to think for themselves and function outside of the state of utah.
“i could have gone to byu to get a degree but i choose instead to go to the university of utah to get an education.”
1. one of the best universities in the west, and the first and best university in the state of utah. an inst-tution with a rich academic heritage, including the first implanted artificial heart, and the first dialysis machine, as well as the home of n-bel prize winning faculty.
2. the school mormons choose to go to when they want to receive a real education.
also known as the u, or the u of u.
thank goodness you got accepted to the university of utah and chose to go there instead of going to the school in provo, where you might have had to settle for a wife and kids and a degree instead of a real education.
a taxpayer-supported university located in salt lake city for people who
a. don’t have the grades or the test scores to get into byu
b. want to major in smoking pot, getting laid, drinking beer, jerking off, or journalism
c. want to study marxism
d. are non-mormon or jack mormon
orrin was rejected by byu so he decided to enroll at the university of utah where he majored in jerking off and minored in journalism.
1. a university in salt lake city that jack-mormons revere as an ivy-league school. a decent and cheap public school that may lead to a solid career in utah, idaho, some parts of arizona, and no where else.
2. a “back up plan” for students applying to byu, but are too conceited to attend utah valley university.
3. a junior college in salt lake city, with a twist: they hand out bachelor’s degrees.
4. a public university for people who hate mormons, but are afraid to leave utah.
father: “did you get accepted to byu?”
son: “no, but the university of utah accepted me.”
father: “oh…”
friend 1: “man, mormons are self righteous!”
friend 2: “then why don’t you just leave utah?”
friend 1: “umm…”
the university of utah is a college in salt lake city, utah. it offers the thrilling lifestyle of living in a desolate wasteland surrounded by mormons, and the academic prestige of a community college. but, hey, at least it’s cheap.
student: are you going to the party tonight?
friend: party? we’re in utah.
student: oh yeah, well i guess we can study for cl-ss.
friend: why bother? a degree from the university of utah is ignored outside of utah, but not needed inside utah where you can easily get a job from one of your four thousand uncles.
only the coolest college in utah where a bunch of people come from out of state for no other reason than its a d-mn cheap school.
also the only place in utah to get a half decent education.
a conversation between two university of utah students
1st student: hey where are you from?
2nd student: new york..
1st student: so what brings you to the u of u?
2nd student: its d-mn cheap.
1. university where people from utah who want a real education go to.
2. legitimate university that offers a legitimate education.
3. not church-camp. see byu.
-“hey timmy, where are you going to school after you graduate?”
-” i’m going to the university of utah.”
-“good choice! there you’ll get access to the serious academic world. i mean, how seriously could you take your professors if you knew they believed they will be gods of their own universe with multiple wives after
they die, and all that weirdo hoohaa that mormons believe???”
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