Unmath

a form of math with no meaning and sometimes no numbers. generally, the easiest equation in unmath is this:

“width x gary = 2 cans of peas”

it has also been used famously by a certain large headed internet sensation. to quote:

“i say there, homestar, b-tts 12 by pies?”

most if not all mathematicians have dismissed unmath as bunk or some other kind of thing. but don’t listen to them, because they pee sitting down.

regardless, unmath has provided several answers to today’s more complicated problems. and i know that if it weren’t for me using unmath in high school, i wouldn’t be the successful man sitting at this computer after waking up at 11:30 that i am today. without unmath, i might be working at a job instead of relaxing in my mom’s suburban home, unshaven and watching reruns of the fresh prince. i don’t even have to take off my shoes in the house, ’cause i’m a man.

so if you’re ever in a sticky situation, try unmath. i agree that it works 100% of the time.
oh cr-p, there’s a vicious pack of dogs chasing me! what to do? i know! -does unmath- aha! service pump divided by the square root of a moose is johann to the pants power! i won!