velocirapist

(n.)
velocirapist (/vɨˈlɒsɨræpəst/; meaning “swift rapist”) is a genus of dromaeosaurid theropod dinosaur rapist that lived approximately 75 to 71 million years ago during the later part of the cretaceous period.

smaller than other dromaeosaurids like molestosaurus and roofiehycthys, velocirapist nevertheless shared many of the same anatomical features. it was a bipedal, feathered rapist with a long tail and an enlarged sickle-shaped phallus, which is thought to have been used to rape its prey.
a turkey, huh? ok, try to imagine yourself in the cretaceous period. you get your first look at this “six foot turkey” as you enter a clearing. he moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. and you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like t-rex – he’ll lose you if you don’t move. but no, not velocirapist. you stare at him, and he just stares right back. and that’s when the rape comes. not from the front, but from behind, from the other two rapists you didn’t even know were there. because velocirapist’s a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated rape patterns and he is out in force today. and he slashes at you with this… a six-inch retractable phallus. he doesn’t bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say… no no. he pounds at you here, or here…