Velvevil
velvevil is a synonym for the kraft product velveeta cheese, generally used by those who recognize its detrimental impact on health but cannot resist the processed cheese food. velveeta is a shelf-stable block of bright yellow cheese product with a low melting point.
pr-nounced velv/evil, to have a similar sound to velveeta.
ted: this dip is fabulous, brianna! what’s in it?
brianna: oh, some tomatoes… beans… and (mumbles)
ted: what?
brianna: don’t worry about it–just enjoy.
but then… ted spies the telltale yellow brick package in the kitchen trash. he gasps.
ted: brianna! you used velvevil?!
brianna: i know i shouldn’t have, but…
ted eats another chip with dip.
brianna: see? you cannot resist the velvevil.
ted: when i’m the hospital with a heart attack, visit me.
ted proceeds to completely decimate the dip.
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