washington township

noun.

township located in new jersey.

-one of many places in the world that you will find a bunch of strip malls, 2 movie theatres, corrupt politicians, high taxes, pot heads, crazy traffic on the pike, million dollar mansions, crazy cops, drug addicts, sl-tty teens, gold diggers, a few run down houses and drug dealers. many of the people in township are of italian descent so if you visit here expect over a dozen of pizzerias and small restaurants. the best pizzerias are tony sopranos and sal’s. franks is good too but mostly everyone goes there for the buffalo wing pizza. 5% of the population is black and there are many hispanic and asian families moving here so diversity is easy to find and there is at least one minority family in every neighborhood depending on where you live.

township as the locals call it, is home to one of the biggest high schools, wths which is h-ll to many students and is overcrowded. fights are common in this school, although not common as it used to be. some of the fights are either over drugs, girls, or racial tensions between blacks and whites. the sports teams are good but the boys teams rarely win championships in basketball or football, while the girls dominate at soccer, basketball, and field hockey.

the hangout spots here are fuddruckers, franks pizza, the movie theatres, the park, high school football games, and club wawa near shoprite and pnc bank. although fuddruckers make cr-ppy burgers, the parking lot is the best place to host car shows and show off your ride. twp also has a few lakes to swim in, most are manmade and dirty so its best to swim in your own pool.

this is one of the safest places to live in south jersey and most of the crime usually happens from the younger high school students and college students at parties. if you throw a party in township, expect your party to get trashed by a gang of thugs or wanna be g’s. the girls here are the hottest and most of them are too hard to get with and theres alot of sl-ts. girls start having s-x as early as age 12. the cops show up at mostly every party that is thrown either because someone cant handle their liquor and starts a fight, or the kids are distracting neighbors. the police also dont show up very often on the roads in the daytime but at night theyre always up to something. if you get pulled over, dont talk back or expect a ticket or an -ss whooping. some people around twp. act ghetto while others are either very nice or stuck up rich. the only semi-hood part is birches west which is known for drug busts and out of control parties.

overall, township is the place to be.
chris: what is south jersey’s premier community?

mary: washington township
f-ckin best place on earth. other towns suck our wieners, we rape in all sports, especially football (only minutemen). everyone wishes they could live there or be us. everyone says we’re the richest town ever, but thats bullsh-t. we fight for survival here, nothing is handed to you. if you wanna live, watch your f-ckin back and dont talk sh-t about twp!!
“you live in washington township?”

boom! headshot