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a little boring stupid friggin town in connecticut..lots of alcoholics and druggies…and freshmen sl-ts!!
senior:dude this is what were gunna do this year..
senior 2: wha?
senior: we gotta get 5 freshmen in bed by the end of the 1st semester..
senior 2: duuuude…cha!
senior: dude the freshmen in watertown are soo easy itll be great!
watertown, ny is a comely little place that is smack between two relevant places, thus giving it the appearance (to residents solely) of relevance, which is quite the opposite. syracuse and canada are its neighbors, by the way.

air freshening pine tree car hangers were invented in watertown, ny. so were paperclips.

watertown is known to experience all four seasons in a single day, every day. seasonal affect disorder has bred many dysfunctional psychopaths and it is quite shocking its public high school is still standing.
everyone in watertown hates watertown, and everyone that isn’t in watertown wants to go there. no one ever leaves.
a dumb -ss small town in connecticut that would be considered a prep and skater town. next to the ghetto so of course has ghetto wannabes full of jock and cheerleaders and sporty ppl. infested with skaters left and right. if you live here there is a 100% chance that you are friends with or know someone who either drinks or does drugs… i am from watertown and all of my friends.. well most of them either drink or do pot and some even worse. its not that cliquey but it can be better. pretty much every house hold owns a pet and the town revolves on the high school football team. in this town you either want out or you love it. overall a boring town along with a h-ll hole. and has your handful of fights in which all ppl involved get arrested. the fights are always started over the stupidest thing as well.
some watertown kid: omg that new kid looks like a stoner he must be one- this signifies how judgmental

ppl who are in a fight: “im gonna f-ck that b-tch up” they just yell out words or become friends that secretly hate each other this signifies fakeness
a town in m-ssachusetts. (technically a city, with a population of ~33,000, which seems absurd to an inhabitant of the east coast, but makes somewhat more sense if you remember that this amounts to a higher population than the third largest munic-p-lity in the entire state of wyoming.)

first settled in 1630, watertown has somehow managed to go through almost four centuries of eventful history without ever acquiring any particularly distinctive ident-ty. one might expect that, lacking any other ident-ty, watertown would identify as a suburb of boston, but this would be a mistake. most residents of watertown seem to be oblivious to the fact that they live about six miles away from beacon hill.

this is not to say that watertown has no civic spirit. locals share a dislike for neighboring belmont, a loyalty (not entirely deserved) to eating establishments such as stellina’s and tresca’s in watertown square, a willingness to pretend that such annual events as the faire on the square are more fun than they actually are, and a sense of general satisfaction when one of the high school sports teams wins something. (even if, as is often the case, they don’t know the name of a single player.) furthermore, watertown’s relative lack of ident-ty may not be an entirely bad quality, when one considers the rather unill-strious ident-ty of its neighbors.

(cambridge = harvard university and -ssorted fiefs; somerville = cambridge’s ugly cousin; belmont = home to a prep school and the gated-community-with-everything-except-an-actual-gate of belmont hill; brookline and newton = a subdistrict of the state of israel, confusingly located in eastern new england.) (an exception is waltham, which is quite nice.)

watertown’s architecture is low-key chaos. it’s not unusual to find an 18th century colonial farmhouse, a small victorian mansion, a few triple deckers, some colonial revivals from the early 20th century, and some uncl-ssifiable mish mashes from the late 20th century all sharing the same block. beside that, you have the usual new england mix of white wood-and-brick protestant churches and gargantuan stone catholic churches, and the beautiful 19th century brick buildings that used to be mills and are now either office sp-ce or condos. (at least one church has also been converted into condos.)

formerly a manufacturing town, watertown has been undergoing a process of de-industrialization and gentrification for at least two decades. the town’s factories and warehouses have been dismantled (or, along the pleasant st. corridor in the southwest part of town, simply left to rot, though the town council is making noises about revitalizing the area), and the buildings of the former -rs-nal have been converted into offices, restaurants, recreational facilities, and a thus-far-not-particularly-interesting arts center. property has become more expensive. (though less so than in most of the surrounding area, partly due to the fact that watertown has sources of revenue other than property taxes. the town has three commercial districts: the town center, the coolidge square area to the east, and a mall complex to the southeast, along the charles river, which is more or less the southern boundary of the town.)

in one respect, this trend is welcome, since frankly n-body misses the sullen plebes who const-tuted watertown’s now-priced-out middle cl-ss. in another respect, the trend is worrisome, since watertown seems to be slowly becoming a community consisting of rich people, poor people, and nothing in between. (watertown’s poor mostly consist of middle easterners and latin americans living in the vicinity of coolidge square.) (the trend toward “rich, poor, and nothing else” has, of course, also been underway in the united states in general for the last several decades.)

this definition reads more negatively than i intended, so i will close by mentioning some things about which watertown can legitimately brag: mount auburn cemetery (which has a cambridge address, but is almost entirely encomp-ssed by watertown); a good (recently overhauled) public library; beautiful places to walk along the charles river (also recently overhauled); the perkins school for the blind (perhaps better known to the nation as “the place where helen keller did things”).
random guy: “you wanna go to watertown?”

urban dictionary contributer: “god no there’s nothing to… wait, which one?”

random guy: the one in (insert “m-ssachusetts”, “connecticut”, or “south dakota” here at your discretion).

urban dictionary contributer: “god no there’s nothing to do there!”
a little town in m-ssuchusettes with absolutely nothing to do ever!!!! home of the raiders!!!
“watertown f-cking blows…theres never anything going on”
a little sh-thole in minnesota! the people there have the same iq as the population sooo about 12….. if u ever get a chance to go there run away as fast as you can!! its basically known for wellllll its cr-ppy highschool, its terrible sports teams, and the excessive ammounts of meth labs.
hey lets go to watertown to go watch a sh-tty sports team while smokin meth!
a town, in south dakota that lacks things to do even though its population shows there should be.
“yall wanna goto watertown?” the man asked, “theres nothing to do there god please no!!” replied the hippies.