westerville
a city in ohio that never gets snow days.
it’s -17 and there’s six feet of snow on the ground… but we still have school!
the finest of all the columbus, ohio suburbs– westerville is the rich man’s reynoldsburg and the blue-collar dublin. home to attractions such as the anti-saloon league museum, the hanby house and the world’s largest crystal ball, it’s hard to spend an idle day in a city so alive with opportunity. westerville is conveniently located between easton town center and polaris fashion place. the uptown shopping district features poppin’ spots such as schneider’s bakery, graeter’s ice cream and pasquale’s italian kitchen. simply unparalleled by neighboring suburbs, westerville exudes laid-back sophistication.
person 1: “where are you from?”
person 2: “westerville.”
person 1: -bows down in the presence of glory-
the largest suburb city in ohio. home of westerville south wildcats, westerville north warriors, and westerville central warhawks. even though that westerville north isn’t really north of south, and central isn’t really in the center…but whatever. the city of westerville is nationally recognized as one of “america’s best places to live” by money magazine year after year. there’s always stuff to do, even in the winter, as long as you’ve got friends and know where to go. just watch the cops, they have nothing better to do with their lives then stalk teenagers.
as long as we don’t get caught by the westerville cops, it’s not like they have actual jobs to do…
hot and cold on the same day. if your homework catches on fire or if your baby sister colors on it, you are expected to turn it in.
kid: where’s my homework?
-kid sees baby sister coloring on it.-
kid: noooooooooo!! i still have to turn it in!
baby: ha ha ha funny
next day at school
teacher: where’s your homework?
kid: my sister colored on it!
teacher: well you still have to turn it in!
——————————————————————–
kid: mom, what’s the weather like today?
mom: it is 90 degrees outside but later it is 10 degrees outside.
kid: you know what mom, i really hate westerville.
mom: good for you sweetie.
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