Wilmington

a city in north carolina which is home to screen gems studios and therefore “one tree hill” and “dawson’s creek”, and even “matlock” once upon a time. historic downtown with a battleship on the river, the beach is nearby, home of uncw, and it has beautiful homes on the intracoastal waterway including “dawson’s” house from the show. beautiful gardens such as airlie gardens by the beach. it is also home of the nc azalea festival and wrightsville beach is the home of the nc holiday floatilla.
wilmington girl a: did you see pacey from dawson’s creek at the trolley stop?
wilmington girl b: yeah and dawson was at target with joey potter.
largest city in delaware, basically younger step-sibling to philadelphia (about 15 minutes away) philly people go to wilmington to work and wilmington people go to philly for a good time…home of large credit card companies and various other cr-p.
i know about life in philly because i am from wilmington. i just wish wilmington was as fun as philly.
a coastal city in north carolina. often described as “90,000 alcoholics camped out on a sand dune.” visitors are well advised to avoid drinking like the locals do.
how was your vacation to wilmington?

it was great, but my doctor tells me i need a liver transplant.
wilmington is a city in northern delaware, where everyone sits on their front step and collects welfare. people in wilmington actually think it is their job to sit out front in lawn chairs and eat chips. there are thousands of potatoe chip bags in the street because the trash there doesn’t beleive in garbage cans. they don’t take care of their d-mn kids, they have like 10 each, and by 10 different men. everyone in wilmington is on probation. people walk down the street and smoke blunts all day. there is a shooting every night. the signs up at all of the borders of wilmington say “wilmington, a place to be somebody”. yea right!!!
the signs in front of wilmington should read ” a place to kill somebody” or “a place to eat chips and be on probation”
aka “wilmas” — a city suburb of los angeles, ca located literally just a drunken crawl north of the port of los angeles. known for nothing, by no one, ever. (well that’s not true, actually; it has the original wienerschnitzel.) seriously, did you ever get directions from someone on how to get from san pedro to long beach, and they tell you to get on the freeway, and you’re on there and you find you’re driving over all this stuff that has no name that you can remember and that you’ve never really paid any heed to and you continue not doing so because, oh sh-t, you have to get to long beach, but suddenly you have a mysterious craving for a burrito? tell you what–the person who gave you the directions likely forgot what all that stuff was called, too.

if you’re ever cruising around the la south bay area, perhaps by way of pch, and you find yourself in a place where:

-everybody speaks spanish (no exceptions)
-it smells like a carneceria outside
-no matter where you look, you see a $1 chinese food restaraunt, a check cashing place, a donut shop, a shady video store, and an even shadier insurance outfit, together on one street corner and in that order from left to right
-the billboards are either all for alcoholic drinks (in spanish) or are for video games that came out four years ago
-you can get chicharones from your car at absolutely any time

…you’re in wilmington, ca: the hole, er, heart of the harbor.
a: “so where are you from?”
b: “i’m local. i just moved to la about a year ago. how about you?”
a: “wilmington.”
b: “oh, you’re from delaware? are you visiting relatives?”
a: “no, i’m local, too.”
b: “wilmington? where is that?”
a: “right between san pedro and long beach.”
b: “oh, i go to san pedro and long beach all the time. there’s so much to do out there. but wilmington, wilmington… i don’t think i’ve been there. in fact i don’t think i’ve ever heard of it.”
a: “i know.”
a city on the southern coast of north carolina. a place where the girls are all tens and the guys look like abercrombie models. the peak of perfection in every sense of the word.
girl #1: who’s that?
girl #2: he’s gorgeous!
girl #1: must be from wilmington, nc
sh-tty suburban town in m-ssachusetts that somehow managed to attain a prejudice, inane, and incredibly stuck up populace.
“i would like to thank a majority of the residents from wilmington, m-ssachusetts, for making my life boring.”

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