12 Section Egg Protector

a small yellow plastic briefcase with 12 round b-mps in each side, which can be used to carry and protect up to 12 eggs, -ssuming these eggs are from your average chicken and not a big ol’ ostrich or fat pterodactyl. also doubles as a surprisingly effective head and/or back m-ssaging device. however, it is recommended that no eggs are inside the 12 section egg protector while a m-ssage is taking place, as this can result in a bad case of ‘eggy back’, or even ‘eggy head’.
joseph: ‘oh no, i lost my 12 section egg protector when i had 16 pints yesterday and wound up on the kitchen floor shouting “f-ck the flamin drongo system b-ll-cks i like mark!”‘

richard: “you dozy bell-end, how am i going to protect my eggs on the way back from the butcher’s tomorrow morning now?! thanks.”

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