abey
one who patently (and pathetically) exaggerates one’s accomplishments due to pervasive feelings of insecurity and worthlessness. a pseudo-narcissist if you will…
person 1: i was accepted to every school in the ivy league, but didn’t attend, as i have no need to childishly prove myself to the world. i attend el generico state university, because it’s just as good, if not better!
(–person 2 thinking privately to himself): she’s always been a bit of an abey…
person 1: i also won the n-bel peace prize for 2006 last month, but chose not to accept it, as i feel it’s a completely overrated award. i told them to give it to muhammad yunus and grameen bank instead.
(–person 2 thinking privately to himself): riiight…
person 1: miuccia asked me to walk in her show at fashion week, but i declined, as i only strut the runways for eddie bauer. why would anyone want to wear prada anyway? i told her to use gemma instead.
(–person 2 thinking privately to himself): umm… you’re 5’3″ and shaped like a gourd. how could you be a runway model? and eddie bauer doesn’t even have a show at fashion week. it’s not even couture.
person 1: well, i must be off! president bush wants me to negotiate a truce between israel and hezbollah.
(person 1 actually walks off to her apartment to watch a rerun of “friends” while scarfing down a pint of ben & jerry’s chunky monkey)
person 2 (out loud to no one in particular): why do i talk to her?
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