Ada Goggles

similar to beer goggles, but ada goggles are experienced while sober. ada goggles derived their name from ada, ohio, the location of ohio northern university. males at onu often fall victim to these early in the spring quarter of their freshmen year. girls who, at the beginning of the year, were only in the “ugly” to “slightly cute” range suddenly begin to look s-xy. experts have determined that this is due to an insufficient number of attractive females located on campus. there is no exact way to determine the extent of the repercussions of this phenomenon. most women will score 2 entire points higher on the rating system when being judged by a male “wearing” ada goggles (and that’s even after the freshman 15).
by soph-m-re year, you know you have them. they start to appear in the late part of winter quarter, and last longer into the summer.
by junior year, you’re praying every night for g-d to send an attractive female cl-ss for your final year.

ada goggles can be dangerous if not removed by the affected male early in the summer after returning home. rumor has it that a pharmacy student had to be hospitalized after his younger brothers 16th birthday pool party. after realizing that his brother found 4 high school juniors that were more attractive than any female at his college, he got an erection that lasted for more than 4 hours.

ada goggles that are worn in combination with beer goggles can prove fatal for your rep with your friends.

other symptoms victims have shown include:
hogging
excessive masturbation (3+ times a day)
hitting on females from ada high school
hitting on cafeteria workers (but not breakfast lady)
calling the “crazy ex” from home
begging the “crazy ex” from home to visit
hooking up with high school chicks
hooking up with local married chicks (ok the divorce was almost final)
excessively repeating the phrase “fat chicks need lovin too”.
realizing that the duff you’re hitting on has an uglier duff, and you’d bang them both
mike-hey jeff, do u remember that amanda chick?
jeff-yeah the one who looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down?
mike- yeah i f-cked her last night… sober. is it me or is she hotter than my first impression of her?
jeff- ada goggles…

mike-dude, every time i’m out at the bars with my friends from home, i have to text them to see if the girl i’m hitting on is actually hot.
jeff- man, that’s nothing. i tried to f-ck chick last night who looked like wilford brimley. i only failed because she was a lesbian.
mike- we gotta lose these ada goggles when we’re home!