adultery tax

the price of cheating on a spouse, usually encomp-ssing costs like alimony, child support, utilities, housing, cell phones, food, and vehicles.

the tax is often paid to both the spouse & the piece of -ss on the side, and is necessary to avoid a public scene of marital discontent involving wrecked cars, burned wardrobes, trashed houses, midnight shouting matches in the front yard, etc.
stevebro: “dude, paying this adultery tax is killing my paycheck.”

davebro: “really, bro? try missing a payment on that sh-t and we’ll be reading about you in the newspaper!”

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