AFAP

as fast as possible
nurse, get me some dirty magazines, afap.
4 more definitions
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as f-cked as possible.

to simply get as f-cked as you possibly can on alcohol and/or narcotics.
“gemma just broke up with me man, i’m just so confused right now, cold really use some company”
“dude as your best friend i think there’s only one thing for it, let’s get afap!”
“awh jerry your the best!”
-high five-
a term denoting that the individual is going to jerk off in the speediest manner possible. while this method of jerking off is very efficient, the pleasure experienced is drastically reduced. may be used as a verb, noun or acronym (as fast as possible).
example 1:

parents: we’re going to the shops, but we’ll be back in 5 minutes. bye son.

son: looks like it’s time for an afap.

example 2:

guy 1: dude, how did you break your hand?
guy 2: i heard a knock on my door while i was jacking off, so i had to finish a.f.a.p.

example 3:

guy 1: i had a glorious -rg-sm last night.
guy 2: yeah i wouldn’t know anything about that – i tend to afap. also, i’m pretty sure you stole that line from zach galifianakis
guy 1: f-ck you, man.
to -j-c-l-t- in an extremely short period of time, to the point of embarr-ssment.
guy 1- “did you hear jim and neha hooked up last night?
guy 2- “oh yeah, i actually talked to him about it. he said they went at it for a good half hour!”
guy 1- “i dunno dude. neha said as soon as he took his pants off he completely afapped.”
all finger -n-l penetration
“so dustin…did you hook up with her last night?”
“yea”
“what happened?”
“afap”