still shaking after the -rg-sm!
i gave her an afterasm last night!

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    the wind present in your bowel that stops you from needing a ful blown poo last night was really embarr-ssing. i used my fart buffer up and sh-t myself on the way to the night club

  • gentle alaska

    the act of masturbating an octogenarian using only the slightly greased soles of your feet “what did gertrude do after she left the senior center last night?” “i hear she gave milton a gentle alaska…” “well, she did just get a pedicure yesterday…”

  • clarafy

    used instead of “clarify” by people who are obsessed with jenna coleman’s character in doctor who, clara oswald. i really like clara oswald, like really like her. can you please clarafy?

  • kernability

    a talent that isn’t exactly impressive in the traditional sense, but is impressive in that it’s completely useless and not everyone possesses it. being able to whistle three different ways seems like a useless talent, it’s such a kernability.

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    when you step on a dead bee in your backyard so you yell in bad grammar rather than curse like a normal person stunger got me f***

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