Aisle Rat
an airplane p-ssenger who immediately vacates their seat the moment the airplane pulls up to the gate and stops.
they quickly grab their bags from the overhead compartment and push forward, anxiously waiting in the aisle to deplane – like a rat abandoning a sinking ship – even though they still have 5 minutes before the doors open. they are usually talking loudly on their cell phones during this entire process.
their laptop computers and carry on bags press into the faces of the seated p-ssengers, who are oftentimes also treated to an unwanted ringside view of the aisle rat’s rear end.
(husband and wife seated across the aisle from each other)
pax 1: honey, could you hand me my bag?
pax 2: i can’t. these d-mned aisle rats are in the way.
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