alabaster dwarfs

a rare breed of mythological creature that lives in the forest of magical silliness. they feed on goober blossoms, and they’re everlastign enemies are the cannablistic trolls. they’re often bothered by humorically driven earth dwellers who p-ss thorugh their forest in search of their leader, the peach lotion man.

the dwarfs diet consists of goober blossoms, but they also enjoy feasting on curdled caulliflower and other vegetarian meals. the ultimate luxury meal for the dwarfs would include rotten artichoke hearts drizzled with sauce from a maggot inveted tomato.

alabaster dwarfs tend to mate approximately three hundred and sixty five times a year, but the children often die shortly after birth. only one in sixty hundred and twenty eight dwarf children survive. their young feed on the scabs of their grandmothers wounds, which fall off everytime a new child is born. they live on scabs until their eyes grow in. this takes about one week. then the children are kicked out of the clan to go and live on their own.

alabaster dwarfs tend to travel in groups of four or five, and they live in oversized patches of rotten peaches. they also bathe in the peach juice, which male dwarfs find irrisistable. this is very helpful when the unattractive female dwarfs are desprete for a mate.

it is presumed that by 2010, all alabaster dwarfs will be over taken by the cannabilistic trolls. alabaster breeding has been set in motion, to try and save their species, but it is obvious that they are basically doomed to fail.

if you would like to try and attempt to save the dwarfs, feel free to donate to the save the alabaster dwarfs foundation (sadf).
“wow, did you jsut see those alabaster dwarfs eat that goober blossom?”

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