alabaster dwarfs



a rare breed of mythological creature that lives in the forest of magical silliness. they feed on goober blossoms, and they’re everlastign enemies are the cannablistic trolls. they’re often bothered by humorically driven earth dwellers who p-ss thorugh their forest in search of their leader, the peach lotion man.

the dwarfs diet consists of goober blossoms, but they also enjoy feasting on curdled caulliflower and other vegetarian meals. the ultimate luxury meal for the dwarfs would include rotten artichoke hearts drizzled with sauce from a maggot inveted tomato.

alabaster dwarfs tend to mate approximately three hundred and sixty five times a year, but the children often die shortly after birth. only one in sixty hundred and twenty eight dwarf children survive. their young feed on the scabs of their grandmothers wounds, which fall off everytime a new child is born. they live on scabs until their eyes grow in. this takes about one week. then the children are kicked out of the clan to go and live on their own.

alabaster dwarfs tend to travel in groups of four or five, and they live in oversized patches of rotten peaches. they also bathe in the peach juice, which male dwarfs find irrisistable. this is very helpful when the unattractive female dwarfs are desprete for a mate.

it is presumed that by 2010, all alabaster dwarfs will be over taken by the cannabilistic trolls. alabaster breeding has been set in motion, to try and save their species, but it is obvious that they are basically doomed to fail.

if you would like to try and attempt to save the dwarfs, feel free to donate to the save the alabaster dwarfs foundation (sadf).
“wow, did you jsut see those alabaster dwarfs eat that goober blossom?”

Read Also:

  • barracking obama

    the practice of heavily criticising and scapegoating the current us president barry soetoro as the second-coming-of christ media bullsh-t about him evaporates and people realise he is a puppet of wall street and the military industrial complex, and a worse sellout than bush where is this change we can believe in? the economy is collapsing […]

  • barty b**ber

    one who declines to partic-p-te with enthusiasm, especially in the recreational activities of a group hadia is such a barty b–ber every where she goes….she blows biiig time! thekabet goustou!!

  • b*ss hater

    a person who hates the b-ss. eddie is not a b-ss hater baxter is the killer of b-ss haters u r a b-ss hater

  • reamhole

    a drunken expression used for “-sshole” when too inebriated to think of the correct word. give me that back before i stick my foot up your reamhole.

  • cape cod kw*ssa kw*ssa

    an awesome song by vampire weekend, but no one knows what it means exactly.. i searched ‘cape cod’ on urbandictionary and there’s a whole story and i’m too lazy to read it so if you wanna know what one part means, urbandictionary it! he: have you heard that awesome song by vampire weekend? it goed […]


Disclaimer: alabaster dwarfs definition / meaning should not be considered complete, up to date, and is not intended to be used in place of a visit, consultation, or advice of a legal, medical, or any other professional. All content on this website is for informational purposes only.