All-At-Once
an all-at-once refers to the act of taking a sh-t with very impressive speed, mobility, and timing. the manoeuvre is typically executed in public bathrooms, however may also be executed in any foreign bathroom to the performing party. the all-at-once’s success is essentially reliant on a person’s focused coordination as well as his sharpened mind-over-body abilities.
the approach begins by said person squatting over the toilet seat. remember, the technique is all about speed. so naturally, by not touching the seat with his -ss, he eliminates the time it would take to lay out toilet paper. the person then proceeds to clench his entire body with all his entire might and strength to ideally push all waste out of his body. this clenching body sensation can be compared to the transformation into super saiyan. one needs to focus all of his body’s effort on clenching all the muscles to force all sh-t out. ultimately, the goal is for the sh-t to fall out as quickly as possible, in one push, all at once.
the clean up is also equally innovative. as one takes the squat, right before he clenches his body, he reaches over and pulls off a handful of toilet paper. after the sh-tting is performed, the person wipes as he stands up, then immediately drops it into the toilet. he flushes with his other hand, then makes his way to wash his hands. the entire all-at-once is performed seemingly in one clear, flowing body motion.
(group of friends at a pizzeria)
friend 1: alright, let’s head out.
friend 2: okay gimme thirty seconds max, i need to go the bathroom.
(goes to washroom to perform the all-at-once, returns as friends are still packing up.)
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