Alpine Skiing

a double handjob.
according to the song by pansy division…
“it takes 3 guys to do it right,
(they’re gay, so could be 1 girl & 2 guys)
1 on the left and 1 on the right.
..just get your hands around two poles,
move ’em up and down in a steady motion”
jim and i took lisa “alpine skiing” and she was covered in “white” in no time.

you know those twins, blaine and blake? well, when i saw the huge bulges in their pants i just had to take them to my room for some “alpine skiing” i could barely get my hands around their poles.
3 more definitions
these are some of the fastest athletes in the world unaided by machines. the best of the best break 90 mph. or 95. those who wish to criticize the awesomeness of the sport cite a lack of physical conditioning necessary among racers. perhaps these people are more familiar with recreational skiing. being truly compet-tive on the slopes requires strength as well as endurance. as well as skill. not to mention courage the courage required to throw oneself off of an ice ledge onto a 45 degree skating rink where har-ssed repeatedly by hard-plastic poles.
a: i do nordic bro, i’m so fast!

b: ever heard of alpine skiing?

a: yeah but it was too cool for me. i though it would be more fun to ski up hills than down them.
a useless gravity sport whose athletes claim to train hard when in reality they do more smoking ganja and then training. the only sport where an athlete in season can smoke and drink and still do reasonable well. the sport takes skill but relatively no athleticism and could be consider a p-ssy sport since you either finish or you break your arm. a highly publicized sport where people go down a hill for 20 seconds and then wait in a line for the chairlift for 10 minutes.
jimmy: hey earl you wanna go alpine skiing this weekend?

earl: f-ck no mang, i ain’t no p-ssy sh-t, i beez the real deal. lets do a real sport. like freestyle skiing.
a sport wear the people who were rejected from nordic skiing because hey had no strengh and were not fast enough to do nordic skiing. the fatter the skiing the fast they go, they can just fall down the hill. un like nordic where they have to ski up hills and down them.
hey stuart guess what i got on to the nordic ski team, i knew all of those push ups and going to the gym every day would pay off. i am so glad i would have had to do the lazy wuss sport, alpine skiing

o that is cool dude, i didn’t make it. but the alpine ski team wants me to join. i think i will do that.

well that is cool too, have fun with that. ( maybe he should have tryed and worked out, insted of eating and watching t.v. o well)