amy sedaris
one of the greatest female comedians of our time. best known for her role as the disturbing and grotesquely-lovable character jerri blank in “strangers with candy,” where she co-starred with stephen colbert (who played chuck n-blet) and paul dinello (who played mr. jellyneck).
she got her start at second city in chicago, where she met paul dinello and stephen colbert. sister of david sedaris, and well-loved for her acting as well as stories told about her in david sedaris’ writings.
amy is well-known for her famous quotes, including:
“when you work from your home and johns call on the phone, you’re a call girl. when you walk ’til you limp and give a cut to a pimp, you’re a street wh-r-. when they’re beggin’ you please to get down on your knees near their groinage, excusa me, but you see, don’t you touch where they pee without coinage.”
“i cried when i had no shoes, until i met a man who had no feet. and then i laughed really hard.” (this one has been engraved on a silver-plated jewelry box. trust me.)
(about her chicken, suki) “she’ll eat grapes out of anywhere i put them… anywhere.”
“i’m not adopted and i’m not an indian. it’s just a coincidence that i have a love of gambling and booze and a knack for catching syphilis.”
“did you see amy sedaris on letterman last night? she has a new movie coming out and it’s awesome. check out how hot she is when she isn’t wearing that jerri blank fat suit!”
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a s-xual act where a man sticks is c-ck into a womans -ss, and then reaches into her v-g-n-, grabs hold of his c-ck through her v-g-n-l tissue and m-st-rb-t-s until -j-c-l-t–n last night, i was having -n-l s-x with my girlfriend but couldn’t get off, so i tried -n-lbation
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