Annoying Coworker
the person with whom you share an office who constantly (pick one or several): clears his throat, shares all the minutest details of her boring existence, publicly agonizes over the smallest of decisions (often goes with previous quality), mosturizes his hands every five minutes, adjusts her clothes or hair every three minutes, or talks/laughs too loudly and too often.
annoying coworker: “i just can’t decide whether or not to attend my boyfriend’s step-grandmother’s funeral.”
me: “were you close to her?”
a.c.: “i’ve only met her once about a year ago.”
me: “was her death sudden?”
a.c.: “she’s been battling cancer for three years now.”
me: “i wouldn’t go.”
a.c. (turns to other coworker in the room): “should i go to my boyfriend’s step-grandmother’s funeral? i really think his family would appreciate me going.”
me: “then why don’t you go?”
a.c.: “oh, i’m just not sure if my boyfriend wants me to go or not.”
me: “why don’t you ask him?”
a.c.: “oh, i can’t do that!”
…and on and on and on…
the person in every office who thinks that the most obscure, uninteresting personal details of their sad, sad, lives is of the utmost of importance to all those who work within walking distance of their office. often interested in macintosh, kiss collectibles, and perms.
“oh man, peter really wouldn’t shut up this morning about those fractals….”
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