Ape Wellington
1. (n.) the ape whom once conquered hot-air-ballooning, as only man had previously done.
2. (v.) the act of, upon -j-c-l-t-ng into a woman of ill-repute, jamming as many bananas as possible into her v-g-n-. the man then whips out a spoon, takes a scoop, and offers the woman a serving of the mashed bananas. she then declines, and runs from the room screaming. the man then consumes the spoonful, takes his briefcase, and leaves.
“g-d bless that ape wellington for showing us all that extremely boring balloon flight is possible!”
– or –
friend: “do you smell bananas?”
woman: “no.”
– or –
woman: “have you found the problem?”
obgyn: “no, but this here is delicious.”
– or –
tickles brick tickles: “honey! come back! i thought you would enjoy it!”
woman: “why?”
tickles brick tickles: “at least your tw-t doesn’t smell like fish.”
– or –
ape: “wunhh wunhh wooo wooo!”
woman (to self): “o, why did i ever have s-x with an ape? he has no idea what goes where!”
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