apocalypshit
a sh-t so rank and so stank, it d-mn near ends worlds.
-the day after a flat of dos equis and too much taco bell-
07:00 – wake up for work, the farts begin.
07:30 to 08:00 – wishing you had an m-40 gas mask in your car.
09:37 – sitting alone in the office, co-workers keeping away. tremors begin.
10:18 – almost getting fired for letting one rip in the boss’s office.
10:58 – unable to contain, waddling to the nearest restroom.
10:59 – containment breached! containment breached!!!
11:13 – searching for toilet paper, still wishing you had an m-40.
11:15 – teary eyed, swollen -n-s hole, waddles out of restroom to find unconscious co-workers.
11:31 – hazmat team arrives on scene. curious, uneasy.
12:02 – recovery team moves all afflicted to the safe zone.
12:27 – containment of ground zero.
12:42 – decontamination process commencing.
13:13 – co-workers begin to stir, symptoms of confusion, burnt out olfactory nerves.
23:12 – decontamination process complete, 65% loss of paint on the walls. all survivors to be further monitored for pts.
23:59 – apocalypsh-t contained… for now.
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