Archer Spider


an asian insect that resembles a puppet from the 1960’s tv show, thunderbirds.

they are known characteristically for their “stiff” appendages; particularly the arms, that seem to be held by invisible wires – this is obvious in such poses as “running”, “communicating” (limbs become rigid as they wave them about frantically trying to convey a message) and moving from place to place.

they are usually quite defensive about their environment ie. asian origins. not surprisingly, they are also sometimes found with their “made in malaysia” sticker still in tact.

however, they can be particularly deadly if given too much sugar, which will induce a hype known as the j-panese spider dance (which is slightly hypocritical considering they are bred exclusively in malaysia) if this state occurs, violent outbursts of sideways jumping, water/food throwing, tantrums, and/or revenge will take place.

their vengeful nature is especially scary. such incidences have been reported where an archer spider has taken someone’s underwear, and frozen it, before serving it again for breakfast.

so if you ever get caught by one of these creatures then just shout “thunderbirds are go!” and it will be momentarily stunned, before crawling back into its hole, also known as a bostock.
that guy’s so stiff when he walks he could be an archer spider

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