arlington, virginia
the small county bordering dc to the east and fairfax to the west. commonly referred to as part of nova but really it’s 400x more urban and developed then all the other suburbs that say they’re a part of nova. the county has good public transport (but only in the relevant parts). tourists flock to the small county to gawk at the iwo jima memorial, arlington national cemetary, the pentagon and then stand in the middle of the metro platforms wearing neon shirts and looking at their phones because they can’t figure out how to use a very simple system. in the north, white -ss families live with kids who f-ck around all the time because they have no access to transportation so they’re stuck in their really confusing suburban neighborhoods. also all the northern children think clarendon is the sh-t because they’re too scared to venture outside of georgetown’s borders and nats stadium. the only kids who know where it’s at live in walking distance of a metro stop (not including east falls church because that sh-t is nowhere near anything). the south of arlington is disconnected but it has the mall, the pentagon, the pike and sh-t so respect to the people who live there. every kids parents work in something fancy and there are a ton of military kids bc of fort myer. even though it’s better then the rest of nova (and fairfax where they claim is a good place to live but it’s actually depressing and everyone is brainwashed into thinking they live near dc) it’s still a suburb and sucks.
me: oh ya i live really close to dc
person: fr! me too, holy sh-t let’s meet up!
me: yes i live in arlington, virginia want to metro to get lunch or something?
person: oh…yikes. i live an hour away from the closest metro stop, maybe we should just pretend to keep in touch
me: ok bye loser who lives in nova and claims to live near dc
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