ass ripper

1) extremely painful sh-t. a very painful dump. a long and painful act on the toilette. generally caused by lack of fibre and waiting too long to sh-t. a sh-t which may require -ssistance, either medically, or with a rigid spoon-like excavation tool.

2) a term used amongst well known friends, and best not used just anywhere.
1) scott: “what took you so long in my washroom guy, there aren’t any magazines in there when you come over!”
max: “duuuude, i couldn’t go, i was squirming and standing on my f-cking toes squeezing and writhing in agony. it was like i was giving a sh-t birth. i had a serious -ss ripper!!”
scott: “aw f-ck man, not again, i had to replace my toilette last time you used it!!!! why don’t you just go straight to the f-cking sewage plant guy and hang over the septic pool before you come to visit!!”

2) best not used location example-
max: “i would like to toast the bride whom i have had some special moments with before today – especially last night – i digress, firstly i would like to apologize for my scratchy throat, i spent the last 5 minutes screaming in the can forcing out an extreme -ss ripper!”
3 more definitions
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a super loud fart!
omg melody! lmf– that was an -ssripper.
to fart, one who p-sses gas.
dave is a real -ssripper.
when a guy waits for another male to pull his pants down at urinal. then proceeds to rape him once he starts to pee.
i never felt comfortable using a public bathroom again, after i saw that guy get caught by an -ss ripper at wal-mart.