ass to mouth resuscitation
verb;
as an alternative to ‘mouth to mouth resuscitation’, -ss to mouth or -ss-to-mouth is the preferred method to revive turtles who have choked on jellybeans, or your friends sister who is a college freshman at her first frat party, p-ssed out on blueberry vodka. acceptable because turtles smell like sh-t and alcohol kills the taste of anything other than taco bell.
april o’neil, a broadcasting and electronic media major with a minor in journalism is p-ssed out on a brown couch, after ingesting too much blueberry vodka. her t-ts are exposed from her yellow jacket, and her red hair is tied back in pig tails. she is tight as f-ck.
leonardo: look at april o’neil, dapt b-tch is f-ckin wastid n-gg-!
raphael: d-mn shawty. ey, who be wandin some taco bale?
leonardo: wake dapt bi’atch up n see if she wan’somethin.
raphael: ay whide b-tch, wake de f-ck up, fa’real.
leonardo: ey mane, she kinda looks blue n sh-t. you better gib her -ss to mouth resuscitation, niggin!
raphael: fa real?
leonardo: yeah niggin, we’ll wait til we gets back wit dapt tb, niggin.
a little while later…
leonardo: aight niggin, ju ready mane?
(dropping his pants, and straddling aprils face, raphael situates his -n-s over her mouth and flatuates, blowing stool chips into aprils air stream)
raphael: cowabunga dude!
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