autozone
a faceless corporation that slowly chews the life out of most employees who toil wihin their walls of automotive debauchery.
we are now hiring at autozone’s across the nation!!!
3 more definitions
the place were the burden to keep your ’84 cutl-ss supreme or comparable hoopdi alive is placed on employees who have no idea why your radiator won’t stop leaking even though you poured pepper in it…or some other ignorant method of maintenance.
i do all of my car work in the parking lot at autozone.
the f-cking worst place to work. every day stupid people come in ask ask you r-t-rded questions like “what viscosity windshield washer fluid do i need”, etc. once i was even asked if “can you install these struts for me?” -___-” out of nowhere huge lines of people will be waiting in line looking at you like you’re their savior; and if the phone starts ringing you’re expected to pick it up and talk to the guy on the phone first. then some idiot always comes who was a “service engine light on”, and “can you scan it for me bro”, and his car is a 1994………… everytime i hear the words “can you install these for me” i want to bash my head against the ground. why can’t people just stop being cheapskates and go to a real f-ckin shop or dealership….
hindu guy walks in
hindu guy :”my car no start battary bad”
autozoner: “ok let me get the tester and test the battery”
-after testing battery-
autozoner: yes the battery is bad according to the tester, i can get you a price on a new one
hindu guy: ok can u guys install?
autozoner: wel, for this car we can’t; because the battery is located under the fuse box which is also located under a big steel metal bar; in this case we can’t do the install
hindu guy; but the sign say u guys install!!
autozoner: i understand that; but only if nothing’s in the way
hindu guy: ……you guys install battary?
-____________________-”””’
the moment at which interaction with a potential partner shifts into cruise control, and you are on your way to the bone zone.
i met a girl in the elevator today, and by the time we hit her floor, i was in the auto-zone.
alone zone to bone zone in 60 seconds.
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