baldneck
the polar opposite of neckbeard (aka hardcore nerd), in that a baldneck is completely devoid of technical knowledge beyond their car or tv remote.
they treat technology as if it were a personal affront, a multi-tentacled horror with a sentient intent in making their lives miserable. you see them yelling at self-checkouts and coinstars, and being unable to apply for jobs that require you to go to the employer’s website. they think of fruit when they hear the word blackberry. they are amazed when they see a laptop display a webpage without being plugged into a wall. they really believe the banner ad saying they’re the 100,000,000th visitor to that website. they can’t sign onto facebook because they don’t know the difference between a url and an email address and keep trying to sign in with [email protected]. in general, when it comes to computers, cellphones, etc. they are epic-level clueless mongoloids who, thanks to darwinian evolution, will soon see their end.
alternatively, baldnecks could just be those who only know enough to use mysp-ce, twitter, digg, or other web 2.0 garbage, couldn’t tell the difference between an iphone and a wiimote, and can’t imagine any form of gaming that doesn’t involve moving pixels behind a glowing rectangle. (see tabletop gaming). they will never know true love.
either way, baldnecks are an endangered but irritatingly persistent species.
n00b: i’m pushing the b-tton on my computer and it won’t restart! it just shuts off the screen!
n00b: why isn’t it working! it told me to put the mouse there and it’s not doing anything!
n00b: did you see those warhammer online shots? more like world of warhammer. online. craft. (see penny arcade)
n00b: my computer performed an illegal operation!? oh no!!!
g33k: ….freakin’ baldnecks. -facepalms-
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