Bar Mitzvah

a coming-of-age ceremony in the jewish religion. when a boy turns thirteen, he is considered a man and reads a torah portion in front of friends, family and his shul. bat mitzvahs, the counterpart for 13-year-old girls, started in the early 20th century. bar and bat mitzvahs are really supposed to be holy ceremonies that mark a child’s emergence into the adult world of judiasm, but in some parts of the us the parties are all that matters. yes, it’s very important for each young teen to out-do each other. whether it’s having expensive dj’s or balloon arches, invitees of bar/bat mitvahs know they will have a great time and end up with a giveaway, like a t-shirt or pj pants with a cheesy saying. (read: “i danced my pants off at lauren’s bat mitzvah!”) for young teens that are or know jewish teens, bar and bat mitzvahs are the social highlights of the 7th and 8th grades.

slang: on aim “bm”
mr. cohen: my daughter is getting bat mitzvahed in january.
mrs. berg: i am so proud of her! mazel tov!

rebecca: like, omigod, so i am getting a chocolate fondue fountain during my bat mitzvah party!
elana: um, katie already had one of those.
rebecca: no! my party must be better than hers! now i’ll get hula dancers. ha!

ben: i scored 7,653 bucks from my bar mitzvah.
andrew: well i scored 8,127 bucks. plus a new laptop. ha!
6 more definitions
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coming of age celebration for jewish children. not a reason to generalize about an entire religion, or make yourself look like an -ss.
just because you’re wicca doesn’t mean you’re right.
a game played during the reception part of bar mitzvah whereby all us self-ent-tled snotnoses at the table stuff as much food/liquids/desserts into a wine gl-ss and then wrap it in their cloth napkin and it’s open season-fire at will- no one is safe

this can also be done at restaurants, weddings, pledge dinners, political fundraisers etc… but when playing someone invariably gets disgusted and says ‘what do you think this is? a bar mitzvah?’
as all h-ll broke loose at head table i got hit with a tiramisu/rum and c-ke infused napkin- in my agony i screamed ‘where do you think we are? a bar mitzvah?!!???
bar mitzvah – noun- smoking a ton of weed. first used by red in the pineapple express when he said to saul “bar mitzvah hit it up dude”.
yo i just had the biggest bar mitzvah last night, i could barley see when i woke up this morning.
1. a jew losing his virginity.

2. any male having s-x with a jewish girl for the first time in his life.
1. did you guys hear?? tommy finally got bar mitzvahed last night!!!
2. yo man i met this girl rachel at the club last night, lets just say i got bar mitsvahed back at my place! jewish girls know how to get down!
a game played by tweens and teens. during a bar mitzvah, a jewish coming of age celebration, the kids grab as many bottles/gl-sses of alcohol left on the table and drink the remaining liquid while the parents are too busy to notice. whoever can drink the most before getting caught, p-ssing out, or party’s end is declared the winner.

the game has spread in popularity to many pre-college locations.
mom and dad are smashed and uncle lou has a lamp shade on his head. quick let’s do this like a bar mitzvah and grab all their beverages
a severely overpriced 13th birthday party for a jewish kid, for graduating hebrew school. the d-mn thing ususlly cost’s thousnads and thousands of dollars, and is basically a way of saying “my kid is just a spoiled rotten jew, and i’m rich so nanny nanny foo foo”.
hey–you going to ivan’s bar mitzvah?
nah–i don’t need to be with those stuck up jewy m-th- f-kkas.
word-let’s get some cheeseburgers.

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