Bastardised English
american english.
“dude, it’s colour, not color, neighbour, not neighbor, grey, not gray. stop speaking b-st-rdised!”
what americans speak.
it probably p-sses you guys off that the rest of the world hates you, but seeing as you only just found out that there actually is a rest of the world (shock horror) and you barely know who they are, why does it matter, eh?
1. it’s f-cking jag-you-are, not jag-war. the brand is from f-cking britain. it’s pr-nounced however the british pr-nounce it.
2. america has come pretty far, i think they sent a bloke to sp-ce in the 60s or something and have caused one h-ll of a lot of global warming. so you’re right there.
3. americans do have better oral hygiene, so you’re right there too. you can be safe in that knowledge when you’re driving around in your f-cking stupid pickup truck with a unnecessarily big 7 litre v8 under the bonnet which uses more petrol to go 2 metres than the average british car uses to go 50 miles. the example has to include b-st-rdised english, so there it is.
how the simple-minded brits misspell “b-st-rdized english”
i am going to go on urban dictionary and mock all those superior americans for their incorrect spelling by spelling b-st-rdised english incorrectly.
what the stupid, inbred, hygiene deficient, snaggle-toothed limeys speak.
i know it probably p-sses you guys off that we’ve come farther in 250 years than you could in about 250,000, but find some country in africa to be mad at.
it’s “aloo-mi-num”, not “aloo-mi-ni-um”; “jag-war”, not “jag-you-are”; and “toothpaste”, not “what the h-ll is that stuff”?
the act of removing letters from words because the populace of your country is to stupid to comprehend them any other way. (a process synonymous with “butchering”)
it probably p-sses you guys off that the english language is named after…the english, but why not go and find another middle eastern country to invade or something.
american 1: “dude, what’s aluminium?”
american 2: “i don’t know, let’s ignore the system international naming protocol of scientific standards, and just call it something else because we can’t handle that many syllables!”
american 1: “hey man, that’s a great idea! hoo-arr!”
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