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a person who despises the act of masturbation. generally, said person is religious, but that isn’t always the case.

when dealing with a religious bater hater, it is best to avoid the issue of masturbation at all costs. failure to avoid the issue will result in a p-ssing contest between you and the person and possibly a lengthy discussion on the finer points of religion, which is probably something you don’t want to hear.

when dealing with a non-religious bater hater, it is common practice to try to convert them to the dark side, better known as bation nation. if they are unwilling to convert, it is usually best to write them off as a lost cause. if failure isn’t an option, you could try to convert the person by continuously reminding them about what they are missing out on, or if you are so inclined, you could offer them a hand job. however, it is often best to cease and desist your attempted transformation and instead use that time to concentrate on refining your art. and by art, i don’t mean finger painting, although you can use your hand….

for those of you that are religious and practice masturbation, i would just like to say that you are a credit to your creed. it is so refreshing to know that a religious person can actually be open-minded about something, especially something that is commonly forbidden in most religions. keep on trucking and all that jazz.
altar boy: father, is it okay for me to…you know…touch myself?

priest: what do you mean my son?

altar boy: well, i think i have committed a sin father…i m-st-rb-t-d today during church.

priest: that is blasphemy! jesus died for you and this is how you repay him?

altar boy: -whispers- g-d d-mn that jesus…he is such a bater hater.

priest: i heard that! now come over here and allow me to fulfill my s-xual desires.

altar boy: oh, i see how it is. so it is perfectly acceptable to molest young boys, but when it comes to masturbation, it is a sin?

priest: yes, my son. isn’t religion grand?

altar boy: screw this, i am out of here! don’t bater hate me, bater hate somebody else. -runs off-

priest: come back here my son! rats, i lost another one to bation nation! you will not evade me altar boy_01!