Bathroom Breather
the action of still being so intoxicated from the previous night of debauchery that when awoken on a workday you somehow drag your horrifically miserable self in to work and take periodic naps in the seated position in the employee bathroom of your workplace throughout the day, along with the foresite to wake yourself through the alarm function on your cell phone in a timely manner.
when referring to bathroom breathers, silent and vibrate mode are not your friends, they are both obvious pitfalls that should be avoided if at all possible. 20 minutes is the absolute maximum time you are encouraged to set your phone alarm for, as to avoid detection.
if your situation allows you to push this time limit even further, then by all means grab those extra minutes, but it is not recommended and should be considered objectively on a case by case basis.
if you exceed 20 minutes or even indulge too abundantly in this secretive tactic then you will undoubtedly be found out, possibly get fired, as well as tip your hand to the bossman of your establishment, and effectively ruin this cherished practice for future employees of said business.
bathroom breathers are most often put in to effect by college students working bull sh-t jobs between cl-sses or over the summer, as well as telemarketers and pharmacy technicians.
garrett: “yo tj i need a bathroom breather man… i was out til 5 am last night beer bonging tequila and -ssaulting that random bar sl-ts v-g-n-”
tj: word man, you’ve only taken 4 today, i think you’ll be fine taking a fifth. if bossman comes lookin for you for something that matters i’ll pretend like i gotta p-ss really bad and violently fake trip into your stall to alert you, no worries bro.
garrett: thanks man, i owe you next week.”
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