Beadle hand
a term used to describe, in most cases, a hand with short stumpy fingers but can also be used to describe any sort of injured or deformed hand. derived from the tiny, deformed right hand of british ‘comedian’ jeremy beadle.
‘i can’t pick that up with my broken beadle hand man, could you help me with it?’
beadlehand n. a small mutant hand.
beadlehand vb. 1. to fail to grasp something (esp. a situation) – “no disrespect mr blair, but you’ve completely beadlehanded this whole iraq situation” 2. to be parsimonious – “ok mr murdock, but if you beadlehand me on this deal i’ll see you never work in media again.”
beadlehanded adj. 1. b-tterfingered – “well, bristow is absolutely beadlehanded tonight” 2. parsimonious – “i grew up in new jersey, dad was a rich city lawyer and my mother earned more than a dime or two dancin’ on tables every friday, but mother made me wear the same pair of pants ’till i was 12, every night we ate gruel, except tuesdays when it was potato stew, i guess you could say my parents were just beadlehanded”
beadlehandedly adv. 1. in a manner expected of someone with a beadlehand
– “she fumbled for my manhood quite beadlehandedly, like a turkey w-nker on his first shift” 2. parsimoniously – “i noticed mr carolgees pouring the gin most beadlehandedly, like it was the last bottle in the world”
see above
alternative exclamation to b-tterfingers.
“good lord, i’ve spilled piping hot gravy over myself”
“beadlehands!”
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