bed chocolate


a suspicious brown object that you discover upon your pillow when waking in the morning. how did it get there? no one will ever know. not safe for consumption.
hobo jemima: that couldn’t have been chocolate.
hobo cletus: why not?
hobo jemima: it was too stanky.
hobo cletus: you’re right… it must have been bed chocolate! wait, i don’t even have a bed!
residual excretion in, on, or around one’s mattress, which is later mistaken for crumbs of chocolate.
willard: bernadine shat on my d-ck last thursday evening while we were sleeping.
hobo 1: well, that’s unfortunate…
willard : the worst part is that i thought the bed chocolate is was a piece of the candy bar that i was eating yesterday afternoon for elevenses.

hobo 2: stanky!

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