Ben Gu
an urban legend, originating from toronto, and discovered in new haven, ct. appears only at night, he is known for walking around yale’s old campus during the explo program and sniffing hands, “stopping the kissers in the moonlight”, talking hockey, and searching for a man named john smith, presumed to be a lost lover. he is asian, and fluent in 14 middle eastern languages. claims to live with sidney crosby, roberto luongo, and wayne gretzky. enjoys cranberry juice and upon arriving at yale, believed that it was spain. changes clothes every 8-10 days, and also is known for groping men. is believed to be between 70 and 90 pounds and is approximately 4’9″. gu claims to be 16 years old, and can be seen during program hours exploring new haven unaccompanied or walking with his -ssistant, patrice. is always listening to an ipod, containing a cycle of between 5 and 8 songs that repeats throughout the day. almost always gives answers to questions that are extremely demented and off-topic. also enjoys green tea.
cramer: “ben gu, what do you think about the debt situation?”
ben gu: “the woman on the starbucks container looks like the statue of liberty!”
not ben gu, but bengu. bengu bengu bengu. gushwa. gugu.
bengu fat. hey bengu, beeeengu.
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