bengisu

jokes about not having any aspirations, but is secretly internally screaming.

wants to be mysterious but will talk a lot if given attention.

bengisus are often very conscious of their fears. they are often afraid of sadness, the unknown and tomorrow. afraid that they’ll never be satisfied, never be happy. they’re afraid that they’re too weak to succeed, that they’re never going to achieve anything substantial. they are often afraid that they’ll live too long, or die too young. that they’ll never fall in love, that they’ll never see their children grow. they are afraid that they won’t have a job that makes them happy, and that they won’t ever wake up with a smile. they’re afraid that they’ll hold on to people that have left, and that they’ll be forgotten by people who try to stay. that they’ll never be pretty enough, or they’ll be discriminated. that they won’t have the will to fight what’s wrong, that they’ll always be a bystander. bengisus are frequently afraid that they’ll make themselves feel ugly, that they’ll continue to be cruel to themselves. they’re afraid that they’ll keep making themselves fearful, that they’ll be the ones who ultimately stops themselves from achieving anything.

bengisus value strangers who are nice a lot, but need to be careful this won’t result in looking for people they don’t know and becoming bored of people who do.
guy one: woah hey is that girl over there all right?!
guy two: sure, it’s just bengisu. don’t worry; she’s always smiling so nothing bad’s going on.

guy three: what a m-ssive weirdo.