Benjamin Franklin
one of the ‘founding fathers’, ben franklin was a well-known author, statesman, poet, musician, and inventor. franklin was responsible for some of the most important features of the const-tution. some of his accomplishments include:
– inventor of floam
– paula abdul’s first dance instructor
– amish rake fighting (scored 27 kills, 83 maims in first season)
– known to place ‘whoopee cushions’ under madison’s seat during meetings
– porked 1275 women during his lifetime
– was able to leap tall buildings with a single bound
– often dressed as a pregnant nun and walked through the streets shouting, “come and get it, fellas!”
– once walked into congress after a night of heavy drinking and opened fire with his ak-47
– liked to play with puppies
– held regular staring contests with his neighbors
– tried to have hillary clinton drawn and quartered
– had girly-hippy hair
– advertises on the $100.00 bill with a frowny face
– pr-ne to depression and extreme violence
– a taoist-anarchist
– hated tuna c-sserole
benjamin franklin was a bad–ss.
to scour the internet to prove a worthless point in a vindictive manner.
he said they didn’t ship to oregon. i looked it up on the internet and benjamin franklined his -ss.
man, if only there was cocaine back then…
and so benjamin franklin rose his arm above madison’s head.
“you must be this tall to be president”
followed by tears, tiny tears.
oh, and john adams screams like a girl.
when you are “founding” out that you are the “father” of a child age 3 or younger
i went to my ex’s house, and she benjamin franklin’d me. i owe $5,000 in child support
a douche bag who likes to play in thunder storms with kites with keys tied to them.
also the old frowning guy on front of the 100 dollar bill.
benjamin franklin sucks d-ck
the founder of the university of pennsylvania.
penn was founded in 1740 by benjamin franklin and became the nation’s first
university when the school of medicine opened in 1765.
a devil worshiping b-st-rd.
dude belonged to several satanic cults.
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