Billy Mays
a man who’s cultural impact was not realized until he p-ssed away. possibly the only man in the world who could pump himself up about useless products that he probably didn’t even use.
the first man on earth to ever speak in all caps.
r.i.p.
“look at this sh-t over here….it cleans your laundry, mows your lawn, and you can have s-x with it! wow!”
-billy mays
billy was and remains the legend of infomercials.noone can top billy’s commercial presentations and his trade mark entrance “billy mays her with another fantastic offer” we will all miss billy
july-20th-1958
june-28th-2009
rip
guy 1:you gonna get that new tv?
guy 2:nope,maybe if billy mays did the commercial i would have
a man with an enthusiastic voice, and a beard that nearly rivals that of chuck norris. he could advertise any object and make it seem amazing, no matter how useless it is.
guy a: dude, check out what i bought.
guy b: what is it?
guy a: a nickel!
guy b: huh??
guy a: yeah, billy mays sold it to me for a dime.
guy b: …
the only man who has been known to survive from doing lines of oxi-clean
billy mays: buy oxi-clean or i’ll have to rip your eyes out and dip them in kaboom!!!! -snort-
ox-clean is great to rub in the eyes, watch this!
spokesperson for:
oxy-clean
orangeglo
ding king
5 in 1 ladder
kaboom
fonefree
he yells just about everything he says to give emphaisis and look like an -sshat. although you got to hand it to him, his panic-attack inducing rages make you listen to his pithy sales pitch. in one sitting, an hour long
oxy-clean segment, i heard billy say “look at this!” over 47 times! he was poppin them out like he had tourrettes! not to mention i heard all about the “super shammy!” he includes with his gay-ss product.
besides billy, the only other annoying person is the lady for the grip n flip commercials…
“look at this!”
“sh-t stains are no match for the power of oxy-clean!”
“kaboom!”
the man that is most known as a spokesman for several cleaning products, and while speaking for these various products is well known for his continuous use of capslock!
hey billy mays here! try some of our new oxy-clean, clean your shower, clean your floor, clean your f-cking -sshole.
known as “the oxi-clean guy”, but now does other ads. often kicked out of libraries.
billy mays: oxi-clean!!!!!
librarian: get out of here! this is a library, not an auditorium!
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