black man’s pinch
noun: a bubble of blackened blood trapped under the skin, as is caused when one traps a web of skin in a mousetrap, hits it with a hammer or similar. white kids in the 1970s said it.
adult: “ouch! i’ve given myself a black man’s pinch in the edge of that drop-leaf dining table.”
child: “that phrase is outdated and pejorative to black people. please don’t use it again.”
adult: “you’re right. i’m sorry. what should i say instead.”
child: “subcutaneous haematoma would be both the medically and politically correct term for such a contusion.”
adult: “thank you for making me a better human being. by the way, what would be the medically and politically correct term for such a contusion as would be caused by a hefty clip round the ear?”
child: “you appear to be condoning an act of physical abuse toward a minor. i’m calling social services.”
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