Blarted

adjective.

the act of becoming inebriated, usually to a point of belligerent outbursts and excessive rowdiness. one who gets blarted is generally a bro, and will blart with other bros. the term was invented when a crew of sailors decided to determine what is the maximum number of drinks one can consume before death occurs. they were watching the movie paul blart: mall cop at the time and decided blart was the perfect name for their dangerous activity.
people who say blarted confuse me.
closely related to sharted, or the act of sharting. when you fart and accidentally sh-t your pants accompanied with some r-ct-m blood. usually happens with gay men and/or distended colon.
that f-g just blarted and left a stain on his white pants!
sister to the shart, this is when a woman is on her period and she farts causing it to ripple up the front of the lips.
i just blarted!
one of those rare unique phrases which has no physical meaning however when uttered everyone in the vacinity knows what you mean.

used in conjuction with something going wrong for somebody, usually as a result of your mischievous doing. can be used with similar words like sh-ll.

“ahhhhhhhhhhhh blarted you beanhead!” yelled shahzhad as ahmed tripped over a stool on the floor. unbeknown to ahmed, shahzad had planted this stool in a compromising juxtaposition with the door, a few minutes previously as he hear ahmed marching forth from the great beyond. then for no reason shahzad said “lung fainted over a lung” and chortled to himself and said blarted again a few more times.