blue apron
when your marriage is failing and therapy is too expensive, you use blue apr-n. bonding over blue apr-n includes screaming together at the customer service representative about a tablespoon of tomato paste was missing from your package, posting pictures of mediocre meals on your facebook, and bragging about the overpriced raviolis you made on your monthly double date. a divorce is inevitable, but it does extend the toxic relationship for a few months.
“elizabeth and i have been trying blue apr-n. it’s been pretty good to use so far, but they keep forgetting our d-mn tomato paste. if they forget an ingredient in our next package, we’re going to have to settle for a divorce.”
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