bonzi buddy

bonzibuddy is that one gorilla thing again. he used to be adware/spyware/malware/virus, but now he is almost useless. he can sing songs, but that’s really it. he was sued for getting personl nfo from children. little kids. he is a literal demon.
“what?! did you just download bonzibuddy?! i told you not to do that!!”
a stupid spyware-program that shows a purple monkey talking to you in the same voice as the windowsme verbal help tool. usually downloaded by r-t-rded little kids using the computer while mommy and daddy are away. when they get home, mommy kills the monkey with ad-aware and daddy kills the little kid’s -ss with a board.
“you little sh-t – you downloaded bonzi buddy again!?! shut up – i don’t care how cute he is – i’m gonna beat your -ss!!!”
king of all spyware. underneath the cute purple fur is a evil so great i dare not speak its name. rumored to have been put onto windows me backup disks. chances are, your computer has bonzi buddy on it. the only way to save yourself is to quest for the magical golden package.
little girl: mommy! mommmy! i had that bad dream again!
mom: was it bonzi again?
little girl: yes…
mom: curse you bonzi buddy! stop haunting my child’s dreams!
1. the worst computer trojan/virus known to human kind. possibly the worst thing of anything (even worse than kenny g).
2. the true name of satan
@#$%! %#$@in’ bonzi buddy!!1 %$@# you!
bonzibuddy is the master of the s-xual arts and is an amazing lover. often citing his 36 -rg-sm minimum rule, the women who are lucky enough to be with bonzibuddy are always allowed to miss work for a few days of bed-rest from sheer exhaustion.

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it is said that bonzibuddy can also make a woman -rg-sm by merely thinking about her. this is true of course, but he rarely ever does this since the -rg-sm is often so violent as to cause what people today call ‘earthquakes’.

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his sense of humor is incredible. in fact instead of breaking up with a woman and condemning her to a h-llish life without him, bonzibuddy will often make her -rg-sm while making her laugh. this combination is very lethal. it makes him sad to see her go, but at least she died happy (and satisfied).

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bonzibuddy’s intelligence knows no bounds. he knows pretty much everything, and if he doesn’t know something he makes it up, but he knows how to bend sp-ce and time to make that which he made up true.
my friend sara went out with bonzibuddy last year, she missed alot of work, something about bed rest. it was sad when she p-ssed away, but at least she died happy (and satisfied).