born-again christian

born again christians are the sect of christianty for people who f-cked it up the first time around. they believe that redemption will come from following the bible more literally than god would ever wish, to the point which their ideology becomes culty and near immoral. born-agains are extremely hypocritical and their misuse of god’s texts and discriminitory views give christianity a bad name. ironically, it is these people who preach their superiority that are the biggest jack–sses. and then they have the nerve to look you in the face, after they have just finished bad mouthing gays and other religions, and preach the superiority of their ideology.
born-again: omg i hate her…anways you shoudl really accept jesus in your heart…
woah dont get all born-again on me- or god will take away your soul
born again christians are christians who believe you must be born-again in order to go to heaven. the belief is based on the bible verse found in the book of john chapter 3 verse 3 “jesus answered and said unto him, verily, verily, i say unto thee, except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of g-d”.

born again christians believe once you verbally confess to g-d that jesus is lord and you believe jesus was raised from the dead, you are born again and can now enter heaven. this belief is based upon a bible verse in the book of romans, chapter 10 verse 9.

born again christians believe in the bible very literally.
because born-again christians believe in the bible very literally, you will usually find them on the opposing side of the fight for gay marriage and gay rights. their beliefs are based on a bible verse found in the bible book of leviticus charpter 18 verse 22 “thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination”.
born-again christians are people who have found god later in life. this results in a strict holyer-than-thou adherence to a culty faction of the relgion rather than worrying about being a good person. one does not have to be a good person to be a great born-again christian, in fact it is a trademark of the group. born-agains, for people who cant distinguish (between them and the good followers of christ) give other christians a bad name.

– born-again is also used to describe someone with the annoyingly hypocritical born-again behaviors.
the name born-again implies they already f-cked up the relgion once…shoudl they really get anouther chance to make it even worse?

– born-again: gay people are bad…pray that god will change them.
person: what?
born-again: oh and jews are going to h-ll…help them accept jesus.
person: huh? stop preaching
born-again: hurry its prayr group time…i have some great new gossip
person: dude what the h-ll- your going major born-again on me!
someone who rebels against their upbringing in force so much, that they become a jerk, drug addict, alcoholic, s-x addict, or possibly worse, but in later life they become terrified of the inevitable end, and go back to a sober, penitent and pious lifestyle. such a person is also terrified of the possibility of h-ll, as may be dictated in a religious upbringing. such a person then, in order to cancel out all fear of death, and possibility of h-ll actually existing, will take out a h-ll insurance policy at the local fire and brimstone church, by paying out his unquestioning obedience to dogma, and giving his soul to (a usually white and conservative) jesus, in return for a place in eternal heaven.

born again christians tend to be highly conservative in politics, and regularly ostracize minorities, non-christians and catholics, as well as try to demonstrate unquestioning loyalty to a conservative political establishment. militarism is also quite common as well. this pattern of behavior amongst working-cl-ss caucasians of european extraction, is common in the american south and midwest, and especially in northern ireland.

calvinism, a miserable interpretation of protestantism which exemplifies self-denial and hatred of the body, as well as ideation of salvation, is the cultural source of the born again phenomenon, as well as the tent revival phenomenon of the earlier 20th century. calvinists were removed from england before and after cromwell in the 17th century, (due to ruining everyone’s fun), transplanted into ulster and persecuted by the gaelic catholic locals (when they yet again, ruined their fun with teetotalism), and finally relocated to the us to inflict their misery on the native americans. they then splintered off into either mainstream, or wackjob/pentecostal/etc etc. churches, depending on the education level and social cl-ss of parishoners. the less educated a person was, the more likely they were to embrace a sort of folk, pagan, voodoo interpretation of the bible, including ‘healing’, ‘laying on of hands’, ‘speaking in tongues’ and other occult activities.

when the 20th century media began to broadcast radio and television, this folk religion suddenly had unbelievable resources, and became the ‘born again’ movement you see today, funded by tv preachers begging for money nationwide, from born again christians who want to spend their money on securing eternal life instead of booze, drugs, or women.
after watching oral roberts on t.v. i done bec-m a born again christian, and i told my son to take that there weegee board to the barbecue on the patio and set it a-fire. well if’n satan didn’t come right down and ex-plode that there board the second he lit it a-fire, and we could hear that weejee board demon a-screechin’ and hollerin’ while we stood there and prayed, and i knew that both our souls were saved, amen. (jump around like your legs are on fire.)

or: (northern ireland)

uff yee can’t come tae tairms wit the concept of eternal daum-nee-a-shun? ut us on the heead a-yee? tae breng the ward o’ jaysus christ intae yer life? ond be as barn a-gee-yun? wha’ wit the sen we surroound ar-see-yulves witoot knowledge er conscience? ond remee-yumber thot the beast lies just streets away from us, en blessful eggnorance! supportin’ the daum-nable papal demon? ond their gutter-language of tribal nonsense instee-yud o’ good english custom?….(peter out and fall asleep.)
-a fail-safe term use, incase their is a heaven.
-someone who is experiencing hard times, who is willing to accept anything to save them from dispair, even to go as low as christianity.
-about as difficult as writing your name down on a peice of paper

tom: hey mark, i became a born again christian!!!
mark: wow man, i can relate, today i was able to bounce a ball of the wall and catch it!
a trade of logic for hope
(if you lack logic anyway, then you get it for free)
born again christian: i just feel the bright future ahead of me..
person who renounces the current lifestyle they are living and becomes a christen. commonly happens to people whom have several near death experiences with drugs. very scary thing when it happens because someone is was usually very cool and hip suddenly become brain washed worshiper of a mythical being. they will never listen to reason and rarely return to the dark side.
they were really cool 80’s rockers until their best friend died from a heroin overdose. now the have repented and become born again christians.