box checker


someone who checks all the boxes to be pretty but, when you put it all together, it doesn’t really work. from far away they’re really pretty but, the closer up you get, you’re able to see the flaws in their artificial beauty. all their attractiveness is fake, so it’s not actually pretty.

the box checker is known to have weekly appointments at the tanning salon, dye their hair the lightest shade of bleach blonde, own every push-up bra from victoria’s secret, and have long fake nails. is a frequent user of both the facetune app and the crown snapchat filter. the most extreme box checkers have used plastic surgery to change that a-cup to a dd, which surprised literally no one.

box checkers are typically very open s-xually and, to your dismay, have hooked up with your biggest crush, older brother, and hot third cousin. but even though they’ve hooked up with all these people, they are always single because who would want to date the girl with fake b–bs and chlamydia. while they never have a problem going home with someone, they are all understood as “undatable.”
nate: i think brittany’s kind of pretty but something’s off.
lisa: oh my god she’s such a box checker. her makeup is so caked on and her tan is totally fake. also no way that’s her natural hair color.

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