breakurbating


the supreme state of zen masturbation achieved only by those home on some sort of break, be it sickness resulting in being stuck at home, or a university break for the holiday season or summer. this state is especially prevalent in areas that may not be conducive to contact with the outside world, such as a mountain vacation or being from a town in b-m-f-ck nowhere, usa.
friend: you haven’t texted me in 3 days, and you reek of shame and d-ck sweat. where have you been?
subject: i came down with the flu, and so i’ve been stuck breakurbating.

mother: son, have you been breakurbating?
son: i told you not to touch by socks, mom!
mother: sweet jesus rainbow rollerblading christ, these no-shows feel like they’re made of marble.

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