broomstick rider
a non-gender specific term to describe an individual who possesses or closely resembles the attributes of a witch. while invisible to the viewer, this individual invariably and constantly maintains a broomstick between their b-tt cheeks. they may occasionally appear to glide as if riding a broomstick. the manifestation of broomstick rider qualities may include but are not limited to: virtually any negative quality, especially those -ssociated with a witch.
most notably seen in the qualities of the wicked witch of the west from wizard of oz. cue music of wicked witch of the west riding the bicycle (phonetic pr-nunciation of the tune: do do do do do do (repeat 3 times with the third time finishing with a much higher pitch).
“that woman just spit in my sandwich, and then she wiped her greasy fingers all over it, right after scratching her hindquarters! what a broomstick rider!”
“my teacher failed the whole cl-ss, singled me out to sing the national anthem backwards as punishment, and then mocked me ruthlessly. she was a real broomstick rider!”
“that guy has been leading me on for years! he lured me into getting married, framed me, stole my kids and everything i own. now i’m begging for bread crumbs on the streets of manhattan. he was the biggest broomstick rider i’ve ever met!
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