Brown’s Syndrome


the exhausting, maddening feeling when you’re stranded at home waiting for the ups guy to deliver your package. symptoms include dozing off, hearing phantom diesel engines, restlessness, and a constant fear of leaving your waiting spot lest the ups truck roll by while you’re gone.
a: “hey, b, you seem stressed out. why don’t you get out of the house and come see a movie with us?”
b: “i can’t. i’m waiting for ups to deliver a package, and it’s giving me some serious brown’s syndrome.”

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